Changing times

I take my Dad in for a PET scan tomorrow and we're all a little nervous. This is the test that will show whether or not he actually has cancer or not. I've spent several days up here again this week, mostly just hanging with my Dad. I know he likes having me around and Dottie too, though I think it bothers her that there are so many things she cannot do (another person in her kitchen!). It's strange to see them, just waiting around to leave their painful, failing bodies behind. Why when so many younger people are taken before they are ready to go?
I look ahead 35 years and I see myself being 85 and my whole perspective on the years I may or may not have ahead changes. It doesn't seem like a particularly long time. It does seem to be an awsome responsibility.Keeping it going is not so easy as simply repeating the phrase or putting it on a t-shirt or button. Of late I have no idea what it is.....complicated thing this gift of life is. How do I find meaning in the daily grind of earning money all day and coming home so tired and ill-equipped? I guess there is no easy answer. I do know that part of the answer lies here in our community of family and friends.Encouragement, prayers, positive thoughts, threads of love that travel about the world and merge. I do know that there are many of you I think of often and hold you in my heart. I often stop when I am outside and look up to the north where the Hunters reside and lift my coffee in blessing of Tom and his family. I hope that I will always be able to feel this connection. I don't want to foget.
Last night as I sat alone in the quiet of my parents house(they go to sleep early) I found this Rumi poem about aging that seemed appropriate.

Old Age

Why does a date-palm lose its leaves in autumn?

Why does every beautiful face grow in old age?

Wrinkled like the back of a Libyan lizard?

Why does a full head of hair get bald?

Why is the tall, straight figure

That divided the ranks like a spear

Now bent almost double?

Why is it that the

Lion's strength weakens to nothing?

The wrestler who could hold anyone down

Is led out with two people supporting him,

Their shoulders under his arms?

God answers, "They put on borrowed robes

And pretended they were theirs.

I take the beautiful clothes back,

So that you will learn the robe

Of appearance is only a loan."

Your lamp was lit from another lamp.

All God wants is your gratitude for that.

Camp Tapes

I went for a long walk today, still at my Dad's in Anacortes, soaking in the beauty of Puget Sound and Mt. Baker and the San Juan Islands. I was listening to random songs on my mp3 player and I swear Tom's music was coming up way more often than anything else...I have at least a thousand songs so what are the odds of Tom showing up so often? I was walking along crying and realizing what a gift it has been to have known this amazing man. Of all the people I've met in my lifetime, Tom is the one person who was 'bigger than life'.To still have his voice to listen to and remember is such a gift. I still feel sad and miss him terribly, but there is something so comforting listening to his voice. I doubt I will ever meet another who has the gifts and power, the rock solid presence that Tom had.I thank my lucky stars to have had him as a friend.I still have a hard time believing he is really gone...maybe because I can still hear his voice in my head sometimes...his laugh was like no other and it still pops into my head on occasions.Irene described it in such perfect detail.
What is Dale rambling on about and what has this got to do with the title of this posting? Well, I got to thinking as I walked and I wondered how, with all the many zillion hours of tapes and recordings of camp could we find a way to share them with each other? It might be an unworkable idea as I know how busy everyone is. I think of it as kind of like a bootleg Grateful Dead kind of thing.We could edit them down to the best moments kind of thing. Does anyone have any ideas on a way to do that? Tape of the Month kind of thing? Tape exchange? I would be happy to try and find a way to put them up on the web so everyone could have access. Just an idea.
Speaking of ideas I'd like some advice about how long to make the number of comments on each posting. So far it doesn't seem so long as the other blog, as there were so many pictures and poems and such there. I'm open to hearing any ideas/thoughts you may have about how to make our blog be a better resource for us. I guess I'll leave it at that. My heart floats out upon the beauty of this summer evening and sends its blessing to you all, Dale
PS My niece, who lives in Hawaii sent the link to a super cool video of a nighttime dive that she recently took with a local dive company.It's about as close as I think I'll ever get to swimming with manta rays if you want to check it out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ9WQhQnKNY