I went for a long walk today, still at my Dad's in Anacortes, soaking in the beauty of Puget Sound and Mt. Baker and the San Juan Islands. I was listening to random songs on my mp3 player and I swear Tom's music was coming up way more often than anything else...I have at least a thousand songs so what are the odds of Tom showing up so often? I was walking along crying and realizing what a gift it has been to have known this amazing man. Of all the people I've met in my lifetime, Tom is the one person who was 'bigger than life'.To still have his voice to listen to and remember is such a gift. I still feel sad and miss him terribly, but there is something so comforting listening to his voice. I doubt I will ever meet another who has the gifts and power, the rock solid presence that Tom had.I thank my lucky stars to have had him as a friend.I still have a hard time believing he is really gone...maybe because I can still hear his voice in my head sometimes...his laugh was like no other and it still pops into my head on occasions.Irene described it in such perfect detail.
What is Dale rambling on about and what has this got to do with the title of this posting? Well, I got to thinking as I walked and I wondered how, with all the many zillion hours of tapes and recordings of camp could we find a way to share them with each other? It might be an unworkable idea as I know how busy everyone is. I think of it as kind of like a bootleg Grateful Dead kind of thing.We could edit them down to the best moments kind of thing. Does anyone have any ideas on a way to do that? Tape of the Month kind of thing? Tape exchange? I would be happy to try and find a way to put them up on the web so everyone could have access. Just an idea.
Speaking of ideas I'd like some advice about how long to make the number of comments on each posting. So far it doesn't seem so long as the other blog, as there were so many pictures and poems and such there. I'm open to hearing any ideas/thoughts you may have about how to make our blog be a better resource for us. I guess I'll leave it at that. My heart floats out upon the beauty of this summer evening and sends its blessing to you all, Dale
PS My niece, who lives in Hawaii sent the link to a super cool video of a nighttime dive that she recently took with a local dive company.It's about as close as I think I'll ever get to swimming with manta rays if you want to check it out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ9WQhQnKNY
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5 comments:
Dale,
Thank you so much for putting this together and sharing your heart. I, too, am still having a hard time realizing what has happened in my life since April. Did I really watch my dear friend fade day by day? Has he really left? But isn't he still here? Can't I just drive around the lake and see him again?
I go in and out of being able to listen to him. Sometimes it's just too hard. Other times, it's just what I need to hear. If anyone else out there has the same struggle, Sally Rogers is a good substitute. She wrote Lovely Agnes, and Tom admired her work very much. I've been listening to her off and on since 1982 or so. Very similar philosophy there.......
I would like to say that I feel somewhat like a lurker when it comes to camp. I've only made it twice plus an evening over the last 10 years. I know relatively fewer of you than most. But I have kept up on camp over the years too, so I still feel connected despite my few appearances. Thank you all for including me as a part - "virtual" as it has been.
As for some sort of round robin of tapes or "Best of ......" I like the idea. Billie lovingly gave me the only recording of Tom and I singing Agnes that I have ever heard when I was there this last camp. I love listening to the tape.......just miscellaneous songs and conversation. I, too, have some of that on a CD somewhere, though I can't find it and didn't record me and Tom. I borrowed Gwen's iPod last year and recorded that last day...... Wish I had it. I know it must be here somewhere......
I would, perhaps selfishly, love to receive any recordings folks have of me and Tom singing Agnes. I have loved how it feels in my chest to sing it with him all these years, but had no idea how sweet it was until I heard Billie's tape. And that was the one from last year when he was zonked on the floor in the corner when I started singing it - and he came crawling across to join in. smile. I'm thinking there are probably some recordings of us singing it when we were fully awake too.
What about having a spot on the blog where folks can send and post digital recordings that they might have? Is that technologically possible? I know I can email songs as attachments.....
I have to admit, I have a new and very strong sense of what it means to keep it going. There is an intention and discernment that has become much stronger in me as a result of his death. Both his life and death have greatly affected my teaching and how I am in the world and how I am with my children. I feel new ownership, responsibility, and new seeds of wisdom growing in me.
Anybody else?
Peace to you all,
Meril
ps. email is meril@gallopingpictures.com
Meril,
I have successfully transferred all my recordings from camp from my digital recorder to my itunes and onto my ipod (with lots of help from my technical advisor, Ben). It would be great to be able to share them here although my files are so big I'm not sure if that would work. I did email my friend, Kristin, who gave me the recording of you and Tom singing Lovely Agnes last year and asked her to send it to you but I take it that never happened. I'll try again.
Ron Walton (our principal who came to camp 6 times) and I had a great talk about what "Keep it going" means for our school. It's an easier conversation with those who've been to camp but more difficult to figure out how we successfully translate that for other teachers. We plan to meet with all previous "campers" to gather more ideas and work together on it. We are committed to this and will be very deliberate about it. I agree with you, Meril, that since Tom's death I feel the responsibility of not only keeping it going for me but of helping it spread and creating these wonderful places for kids to be. It's Powerful Stuff!
Debbie
Dale - If you can post photos, is music posted as easily??
In thinking a bit about next year......
I'm sure that "keeping it going" means something a bit different to each one of us. It might be an interesting assignment/commitment for each of us to track ways and times and thoughts of how we do this throughout the year and see where it takes us. And then to gather and share that as part of camp next year. As we are starting with seeds...........I wonder how they will grow and what they will look like? Would it/Could it look something like Tom's book of essays "Visits to the Heart of Education"??
I also keep harking back in thought to the time last year when we wrote off of the opening line of "I am from...." I would like to spend more time with that idea and hear what others do with it.
Thoughts?
Meril
Hello all,
I am getting into the habit of checking the blog . . .Dale your writing is lovely and so heart-open. And Meril, so good to hear your voice here too, often and thoughtful. For those of you that are old-school with casette tapes, there is a free program called Audacity that you can use to transfer tape to digital. I had a friend show me how and was copying stuff in a matter of minutes. It isn't immediately clear how to do it (I didn't think) without a human guide, but I would talk through anyone who was interested. For Billie's birthday gift this year, I copied a tape onto CD for her so she didn't have to worry about losing the music and conversations just because the medium wore out. I would love to do more, though it takes a bit of time (but the good news is, it's like throwing in a load of laundry -- while the tape is running thru Audacity, you can do other things, so that is nice!)
I know some of you know this already, but I have been doing a LOT of presenting lately -- and there is a new-found responsibilty in Tom's passing; "It's gotta be good today" -- who else remembers that story he would tell? The response of the participants in "getting it" has been pretty encouraging. We've laughed together, cried, cheered and vowed to push back against stuff coming down the pike that we know isn't good for kids. The message of vitality in teaching and bringing your whole human self has really resonated. I was in Kansas City where I presented 8 workshops in two days ( I thought it would be brutal, but it was actually really energizing) -- over 200 presenters came through my sessions. We listened to Tom's music and they heard a bit about who is was . . .and the last session I did was on Rituals and Relationships -- those of you at Camp this last year, I know you have heard a lot about this workshop! The closing song I play is As Human As They Can Be . . .and everyone had filed out of the room. I was alone, packing up a carload of wonder- & Relationship-filled materials, listening to Tom's voice sing. And it hit me so hard what had happened. How he was gone from this earth. And the honor of the responsibility I feel in knowing and loving him. I sat down in that empty room and just cried. And then, when I had composed myself a bit, I went over and cranked it. So that every person walking by the room as they filed out back into their everyday life couldn't help but hear this message, this voice, this man.
I hope you are all finding ways to stay connected. To stay true. To feel everything that needs to be felt in a time such as this.
With love and so much more,
Kelly
Dear Ones~ I just want to publicly thank all of you who called and sang various beautiful birthday songs to me yesterday or sent heartfelt cards ...they were a wonderful gift! My 5oth turned out to be a truly joy filled day with gorgeous weather, a picnic and singing around the campfire with a few camp folk (Jan, Kathy and Kelly), dear neighbors, church friends)and many of the children and families who have grown up here over the last 27 years, as well as my own family, including my 2 week old grandaughter Anna. People shared their memories and stories of my first half century on this earth and I can only describe it as "an embarrassment of riches" as Tom was fond of saying. I fell asleep to soft voices singing on lullaby night from some years ago...it was the perfect ending to a really special day. I wish you all could have been here but between all your sweet faces in photos on my big memory board I had put up and your voices on tape, it almost felt like you were!
I can not begin to tell you how central those recordings are to my ability to "keep it going" so talk of sharing and preserving these tapes is wonderful!Because I work all by myself, there are days when hearing Kim's laugh or Tom's witty banter or Judy's wisdom or Flip's sweet voice are the inspiration I need to do this work well. YOU are my colleagues and the way I get to stay strong is to feel/hear your presence in my space and these tapes do that for me. Having said that,some of you know how technologically challenged I am so any patient guidance you can give me in taking part in this tape sharing venture would be greatly appreciated. I miss you all and "need to hear your voices once again!" Love, Billie
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